Love Me or Leave Me

Love Addiction: A proposed model of pathological passion-related behavior involving the feeling of being in love.

Years ago when I was volunteering as a crisis counselor I had to learn the meaning of CA, NA, AA (which I already knew) so Cocaine Anonymous and Narcotics Autonomous were added to my lexicon; but I never did learn about SLAA, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, until a short time ago.  Program appears to work like all the other twelve step formats and, “You are not alone”, is a phrase used there as well.

But I think the concept of love being addictive might actually be different than cocaine, alcohol and narcotics.  If one understands the later as distractors, behaviors utilized to take our mind of unpleasantness, is love used in the same manner?  What is the absence of love called, not hate, that’s the opposite; what’s the absence called?

Perhaps the absence is sadness, the loss of something or someone valued.  The need for some sort of closeness, association with others, intimacy is a fundamental need in humans; in all primates.

Love satisfies fundamental wants, needs and desires and like a seesaw it requires balance from each end.  You remember how that device worked, if one person was too heavy you needed to move the pivot point so the plank would come into balance.  Give and take, adjusting the pivot point is constantly required in relationships but it take more than one person to move the board, it is frequently too heavy for only one and therein becomes the problem.

Our wants and needs change over the years, not everyone can keep their balance; not all of us were nice even when kids on the seesaw.  Maybe that would be a good question to ask on the first date?  :)

Hypnosis to stop smoking, lose weight or to deal with relationship issues is fundamentally about understanding our behavior through the lens of better knowing our wants, needs and desires.

Change your thinking, change your life.


Robert Collier
Wellspring Hypnosis, LLC
1400 East Oakland Park Boulevard
Oakland Park, Florida 33334