Family, teachers and friends, our universe of relationships, is held together with the glue of expectation; how well the glue sticks results in our world view and perception of self.
When our expectations are meet we feel satisfied, gratified, whole, important, valuable; validated in many ways. When disappointed we feel angry, sad, frustrated, valueless, unloved; perhaps unworthy. What is expected from others in our relationships and to them from ourselves is filled with the explosive ingredient, expectation, that can result in a blast of disappointment.
Truly understanding what our expectations of others and ourselves were, the validity of those expectations and what caused the bond to break can create a positive rather than negative learning experience. The phrase, not my fault, has been spoken to me enumerable times over my career. Each time there is a profound sense of relief from the speaker; as if a large anchor had finally been released and the self set free.
It takes a lot of expectation to create disappointment.
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